Hope

"In the same way, when God wanted to show the heirs of the promise even more clearly how unalterable his plan was, he conveyed it by an oath

so that through two unalterable factors in which God could not be lying,

we who have fled to him might have a vigorous encouragement

to grasp the hope held out to us.

This is the anchor our souls have,

reaching right through inside the curtain "

Heb 6:17-19



To me the above scripture reads almost like a poem, making a thought so visualized

and concrete that it strikes you through. It's no secret that a lot of my previous posts have a heavy feel

to them, a thought-filled note yet still with a tone that is tangibly saddened.

I guess I will admit I'm not a bundle of happiness all the time but I want whoever is reading this to know I'm okay, I have a lot of joy and blessings in my life. I think I just write more times on my struggles than my accomplishments.

Something that I love about the scripture verse above is it's reference to hope.

Hope is a beautiful yet terrifying thing. If I get my hopes up, I might be crushed.

If I don't hope, I have nothing to hold onto.

 "vigorous encouragement to grasp the hope held out for us"

Whew that sounds intense. Yet, that is the type of hope we are called too!

I'm the first in the line to say I am guilty of the "other" type of hope. The type of hope that is just barely

getting you out of bed each morning and you are making sure that you don't get your hopes too high

cause that's too scary. Well, it sounds to me that we are called to some intense trust in the Lord!

We are called to a hope that is super scary, super intense and ultimately divine.

I put this on my facebook not too long ago  ...(Anne, the lay apostle)... Jesus said to her...

"Believe in your prayers"... that struck me so hard because I realized how much I prayed without

my heart behind it, praying with only the smallest flicker of hope that God is truly trying to  come to my aid. Well, shame on me honestly because my God is so much bigger than that and he deserves

belief and hope in Him.

"This is the anchor our souls have" 

 ... when was the last time I felt ANCHORED.
Sounds nice, so sturdy and constant. I think the reason I feel so unhinged is because

behind my prayers I am silently allowing myself to lose hope...
Not in God but in the things I'm praying for...

But just like my faith, my spiritual life should not be teetering on whether or not I feel like I am being listening to... it should be focusing on my relationship with Christ. I shouldn't be basing my hope on whether or not x,y and z happens because life changes everyday but my God does not. And ultimately, he is in control and is steering the boat. He is my constant- not all the things, situations and people around me. Christ is the one thing that is keeping me from drifting off into the depths of my worries and fear and struggles, it's very easy to forget that the only reason I am where I am is because of Christ, my anchor. He has kept me from drifting away.

"reaching right through inside the curtain"

This is the epitome of what I am feeling right now.

I know we work long and hard to strengthen our curtain, make it look beautiful and strong, vibrant and sturdy, long lasting and resilient  but like the verse says, he reaches right through.

Why focus your life on the curtain when the real stuff is what is behind it? The real self.

I will be continuing that thought in another post so I will not go on a tangent about this...

But all in all, your soul is who you are. Your relationship with Christ is the most telling thing about you.

How is your relationship looking and what has been your focus lately... Have you been treating God like he is a genie? Have you been acting like you don't honestly believe that something remarkable and life changing could happen TO YOU?? Have you been denying God some of His power?  I mean God can do anything , have we forgotten this?! Place your hope in the impossible...

"Nothing will be impossible for God"
-Luke 1:37

Open Wounds

"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive..."

The Prayer of St. Francis

You know what I think one of the best feelings we can experience in this world is...

To feel not only loved but actually understood.

To be understood does not mean I know

exactly what you are going through

but to be understood is to see something more than the average person sees.

To go beyond and understand that a friend is truly struggling

or you read through the facade and can tell that something is not right.

Many of you may not think this is a great feeling ,

but just thinking about someone going deeper

and realizing without me having to explain

anything that I need something more...

I need to be nurtured in this way about this problem...

and when someone does that whether it be your

spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, teacher, friend...

when someone meets you at the place you just don't even want to go

but need to feel like someone cares that to me is something extraordinary.

I just had this happen to me hence why I'm blogging about it

but someone reached out to me with compassion, empathy and understanding

and I mean how easy would it have been for that person to just stay silent

even when they knew they really wanted to reach out to me?

The easiest thing to do is to do nothing at all.

But she didn't do nothing , she reached out to me.

Think about how God can be that person for you.

I think we all want an amazing relationship with God

and we want to feel loved and nurtured.

We long for God to just "read our minds" (which he can do)

but what I'm getting at is what good is it for US

to just sit back and let God just "read our minds"

we need to let him know our weaknesses and struggles.

I bet if I wasn't so vulnerable this friend

would not have even known to talk me about her struggles,

she wouldn't have known to be compassionate and reach out to me.

So, be vulnerable to God,  let him know everything that you can't overcome

or you just are holding in.

You may be surprised the way he lets you know that He understands.

Christ knows our crosses but he also want us to grow and learn from them

not just hang out and wallow in fear. Christ took his cross and walked to his

death staring fear dead in the face. We are not called to lay on the ground fallen under our crosses

we are called to walk with Christ, cross in hand calling out to Him for His loving touch.

We are weak, let Christ strengthen you and your relationship with Him

He longs to hear your voice and tend your wounds.

Let Christ know those wounds are there, be open to Him so He can care for you.