Make me feel

"Do grant, oh my God, that when my lips approach Yours to kiss You,
I may taste the gall that was given to You; when my shoulders lean
against...Yours, make me feel Your scourging; when my flesh is united with Yours,
in the Holy Eucharist, make me feel Your passion; when my head comes
near Yours, make me feel Your thorns; when my heart is close to Yours, make me feel
Your spear."

- St. Gemma Galgani

Can you hear the desperation in her voice,
the need for that closeness to Christ?
We all have cravings, from the depths of our souls calling out
to us- seeking something more than what we are supplying.


I know for me right now, I'm would be rendered in spiritual starvation.
St. Gemma is asking Christ, to feel something.
I'm sure we have all been there, so drained, so emotionally detached,
so profoundly withdrawn from the world that all you MUST DO IS FEEL...
something real, something extraordinary, something divine.

I need this, I need Christ. What is funny about my life right now
is Christ is shaking me saying... "oh Jaime, if you only knew what
you could be if you only asked, if you only came to me in your time
of confusion instead of thoughtlessly falling into different paths"

It's like a Dad watching his child struggle to find balance, only to find when
gaining stability, treads off completely in the opposite direction of His own arms.

How silly of that child, How silly of me...
I should know by now that beauty, reality and truth is only found
in my Savior.

Yet, I am at the cross asking to feel anything because
I feel so "out of sorts". Don't get me wrong Christ is CLEARLY
making Himself known in my life, but does that mean I'm letting myself
experience that Grace, that Presence?

That is why I think St. Gemma says it best...
"make me feel"

Savior,
If I only realized
the amount of Grace you are supplying me..
If I felt the amount of Love you have stored for me...
My soul would surely burst, overflowing with Joy.
I pray today that I may let Your love in.
I pray that I may listen to Your voice.
Help me see when I'm starving my soul of Your presence.
Amen.