Let Him Show Up

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."- Eleanor Roosevelt



Reflecting on that quote brings a lot to mind.
I think about despair and overcoming it
I think about life changing moments in my life
the time I was lower than low, unrecognizably weak
the time I lost Delaney,
the time I lost Elizabeth, 
the times in life I felt trapped, without any direction, without any goal.


All those times in my life have something in common...

God's Intervention, His touch, His Love

It's amazing that the times you think you have no other
option other than to give up and let yourself fail, fall  or falter
that is when your faith is the only thing left holding onto you


This life can be so beautiful and heartbreaking
but what would be left of me if I let myself get torn apart
by every obstacle I ever face? 


Starting my new business was scary, this is my most recent "jump"
into a new adventure but you know what amazes me about my decision??
God has shown up , yet again full throttle showing me how he is 
working in my life, why he has lead me where I am and what I need to do 
to improve myself. Will I be perfect? No. Will it be without hard days? No.
But I look at this opportunity with a light that I haven't let myself shine on many things lately...
A positive light, and optimistic point of view and perspective that lets me see that everyday 
I am working on myself, for myself to become the better self  I want so badly to be!

So, I encourage anyone who is facing an obstacle, suffering in despair or losing hope...
Let God show up...
I love explaining about how I recently have dealt with meeting new people (I just moved)
and it is such a simple thought but so relevant when talking about God.


No one will no I'm here unless I go out and tell them I am,
None of my neighbors will know me unless I introduce myself to them...
None of my friends will know I need them unless I reach out to them...
and although God knows our pain and trials, He needs to know you want him to SHOW UP.
God knows we need him, but so many times people fail to know that they need God.
Let him know.
Let him show up.

Make me feel

"Do grant, oh my God, that when my lips approach Yours to kiss You,
I may taste the gall that was given to You; when my shoulders lean
against...Yours, make me feel Your scourging; when my flesh is united with Yours,
in the Holy Eucharist, make me feel Your passion; when my head comes
near Yours, make me feel Your thorns; when my heart is close to Yours, make me feel
Your spear."

- St. Gemma Galgani

Can you hear the desperation in her voice,
the need for that closeness to Christ?
We all have cravings, from the depths of our souls calling out
to us- seeking something more than what we are supplying.


I know for me right now, I'm would be rendered in spiritual starvation.
St. Gemma is asking Christ, to feel something.
I'm sure we have all been there, so drained, so emotionally detached,
so profoundly withdrawn from the world that all you MUST DO IS FEEL...
something real, something extraordinary, something divine.

I need this, I need Christ. What is funny about my life right now
is Christ is shaking me saying... "oh Jaime, if you only knew what
you could be if you only asked, if you only came to me in your time
of confusion instead of thoughtlessly falling into different paths"

It's like a Dad watching his child struggle to find balance, only to find when
gaining stability, treads off completely in the opposite direction of His own arms.

How silly of that child, How silly of me...
I should know by now that beauty, reality and truth is only found
in my Savior.

Yet, I am at the cross asking to feel anything because
I feel so "out of sorts". Don't get me wrong Christ is CLEARLY
making Himself known in my life, but does that mean I'm letting myself
experience that Grace, that Presence?

That is why I think St. Gemma says it best...
"make me feel"

Savior,
If I only realized
the amount of Grace you are supplying me..
If I felt the amount of Love you have stored for me...
My soul would surely burst, overflowing with Joy.
I pray today that I may let Your love in.
I pray that I may listen to Your voice.
Help me see when I'm starving my soul of Your presence.
Amen.