You go before me

* This was written I think around two years ago, I came upon it and decided to post it*


You go before me, You shield my way...



You hear something scary at night and you wake your hubby to go see what it is,
groggy he wakes up and says  "I'll go check , let me go first to see if everything is okay."

Jesus is the one who does this in our lives. He goes before us and prepares the way.
Even if the road is broken and the way is scary he goes and prepares our heart for what is to come.

If you asked me two years ago that I could endure the suffering of two miscarriages, or 17 years ago if I could endure losing my Father, I really probably would say I don't know. I don't know HOW I could... How can we endure ? How can we press on through tragedy?

Grace. Grace is sufficient in all our trails and triumphs. So even as I am writing this I can say -
is it scary to think of enduring more loss or trails , yes it's scary-
but  how can I say I can't get through it?
With the strength of my Lord,
with Him as my shield and protection,
 with Him as my guide,
 with Him as my comforter,
can I honestly say I am without hope?

I having been living with so much fear but what is my fear surrounding?
The Unknown, the "unlived" moments I have yet to go through,
the suffering I have yet to endure...

This is where God speaks,
 He is the only strength and hope
and the only way I will be able to get through ANY TRIAL
so really, am I scared of it happening
or am I scared of Him not being there on the other side?

It's really a testament about my relationship with God right now, I'm so fearful of what MIGHT happen
that I block my understanding of how God works, he will never abandon or deceive me.

And although I know this it doesn't make me less human, I am human, which means I doubt and fear and despair but this is where I would stay...hopeless, scared and lonely IF I didn't have Christ in my life.