Holy Saturday and You

"After withdrawing about a stone's throw
from them and kneeling, he prayed
saying, "Father, if you are willing,
take this cup away from me; still,
not my will but yours be done."
(And to strengthen him an angel
from heaven appeared to him.
He was in such agony and he prayed so fervently
that his sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground.)"

Luke 22:41-44


I remember once I was in a group
talking about the crucifixion
and I said something to point of...
how is death on the cross so terrible?
(I didn't say this to be disrespectful,
I really wanted to understand)
and a wonderful man by the name of Paul responded by saying
something like this,
that it wasn't just the physical pain of the cross
that he was enduring, it was the pain of the sin
of every single person
in the existence of the world, past, present and future-
it was their sin he was bearing,
after hearing that from Paul- and reflecting on it
it forces you to see that
the crucifixion was so much
more than horrible physical pain-
it was the pain and turmoil of SIN that makes the
cross seem impossible to endure,
to endure every hardship, to face every
betrayal and every desecration and every blasphemy
and trampling of all things sacred
-that was going through Jesus' mind and body.

In the Divine Mercy Novena
on the last (9th) day Jesus said to St. Faustina-

"Today bring to Me the Souls who have become Lukewarm,

and immerse them in the abyss of My mercy.
These souls wound My Heart most painfully.
My soul suffered the most dreadful loathing
in the Garden of Olives because of lukewarm souls.
They were the reason I cried out:

'Father, take this cup away from Me, if it be Your will.'

For them, the last hope of salvation is to run to My mercy."


To think that this is what was going through
Christ's head while he was going to "The Agony in the Garden"
is just ... so powerful.
It literally makes you stop in your tracks
and evaluate your life...
Where am I lukewarm Lord?
Am I forcing you to re-live in the Agony in the Garden daily
through my daily "lack" of Love and Faith and Trust in you?
It cuts right to my core honestly.

If anything as faithful followers
of Christ we are called to be
passionately Catholic/Christian
We are called to be FERVENT,
burning the Love of the Lord.
We are called to be REFINED by
the burning Love of Christ.


We always find that those who walked closest
to Christ were those who had to bear the greatest trials.

-- St. Teresa of Avila

Walk close to Christ,
Walk close to that Burning Love.
Ask Jesus to Ignite your heart.
Be so close to the Lord
that when you approach others
they feel the Love of Christ
radiating from you.

I see this post as being a great
reminder right before Easter
because we NEED that Love of Christ,
If anything many of us during Lent LONG for Easter,
most of us around Holy Week
are Just Like, C'mon already!
Let's sing that Hallelujah and REJOICE

But right now, we must cling to the cross
and see Christs' resurrection
on the horizon, standing their on Golgotha
on Holy Saturday we must decide
who we are,
are we those who so quickly lost faith
after seeing Jesus take His last breath
or are we those waiting for His prophecy to be fulfilled!
Waiting in anticipation for his Resurrection...
are we fleeting believers or FIRM DISCIPLES?

Here I am Lord,
Staring at the horizon
waiting for the new day
waiting to see you walk towards me.
Broken and healed, know I need you
to heal me in my brokenness
and meet me where I am
As you are renewed through your crucifixion
help me see that only through Your refiners
fire can I brilliantly shine Your Love.
Amen

On the Edge

I believe that impossible is only created when we rationalize.
I encourage you, today and always to be irrational. Believe in what
you think is inconceivable...pray like there are no certainties other than the truth known as your Savior, Jesus Christ.

Have you ever heard an insane conversion story?
Like so insane, far out, 180 degrees change in someone?

How does it make you feel? What does it do to your heart?
For me, it gives me hope. It lifts me up. It builds me up
and strengthens me.

Hope is a funny thing isn't it?
So easily lost on a stubbed toe
or a shattered glass. A day can go from
beautiful to hopeless in an instant.

But really it wasn't that Florida
souvenir glass that made you lose hope,
it was where your heart was.

There is a difference between a state of being
and the feelings you experience in any given moment

For example, you wake up and it's sunny
and quiet and things are going swimmingly,
but in your heart you are a mess -it's like
you are walking on the edge of a cliff range
and you are enjoying the beauty and the magnificence of
a sunset yet one step in the wrong direction
regardless of the beauty around you and...you're gone.

The problem isn't your feelings (that are so fleeting)
the problem is where YOU ARE AT.

Where is your heart? Are you unknowingly walking
on a rickety bridge completely unaware that you
could be in danger ?

If you stand before the pow’r of hell
and death is at your side,
know that I am with you, through it all
-The Song, Be not Afraid


Something I think I have learned about this little
Lenten Journey of my heart is where my heart truly is.
If i don't back away from evil, if i don't distance
myself from fear and run inland, no matter how long
I walk I will always be in danger of falling.
I have to run to my Father and into His safe hands.

He is with us, even when we are treading on evil ground.
Even when we are so close from being distanced from Him forever
He is as close to us then as He is to the most saintly of people
on earth. It's crazy because we are so easily broken
yet so easily healed by Him.

Hope is something I have really been struggling with,
truly it's hard to feel Full when you are so hungry
for something more. It's hard to focus and think clearly
when you let your worries be your god, and let
your weakness be your voice.

The Holy Spirit is a SHAKER.
He shakes us and wakes us up
as we are falling asleep...
drifting away from the truth...
and Grace is a Sustainer

this is the second part of the popular
verse 2 Cor. 12:9

"I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses,
in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me"

So there it is . I'm so weak
and I want more of you Lord.
I need your Grace, to sustain me.
and I need to know that when
I face darkness, that you are
the only way out, the only light
that can guide me safely to
your Hope.


Guide Me Lord, and Lead me
closer to your heart, I need you
to dwell closer than before.
Amen.

Inspire

Inspire: to breathe in, inhale


Something I find beautiful is our breath, our breathing.

If you think about what it means to breathe in and breathe out
something so simple,yet complex,
something that comes naturally, that sustains us,
that becomes what keeps us going, that calms us,
something that by simply controlling -can help
us run faster, push harder, perform better, sing louder
it's fascinating.

But not even that, when we breathe,
we are taking in pure oxygen and exhaling CO2.
We are renewing our body of what we need and pushing out
what we don't need.

Now to think about the word- inspire.
When I realize who I want to become,
the more I think about the definition
for inspire and the more I want to encompass EXACTLY
what that definition means.

We should strive to be that pureness, that
which someone sees and wants to be like, not in an
envious way but in a way that they long to
have what is inside, what sustains us -the longing for Christ.

For what else can I strive for, or what else should I want to portray
other than Christ? I wish to be the breath that awakens
that person who longs to exhale all their ailments, fears and sorrow.
I am called the be that breath, we all are.
And yes, how do you suppose to get from A to B.

Well it's as simple as Love.
How can we learn to start inspiring others? Love.
How can I look at the world with Hope? Love.
Because there is still an abundance of Love in this world,
an abundance of Hope and an abundance of Christ.
Their are still people that need inspiration, that need
that fresh breath to fill their hearts forever.

Breath of God,
breathe into me Your Spirit,Your hope
but most especially Your Love, that which will sustains me
under my afflictions and enable me to shine Your love unto others.
Amen.

Pictures of Beauty

i'm posting these here mainly because facebook destroyed the quality of
the pictures. enjoy.

Everything is all right.

We are at Jesus' disposal. If he wants you to be sick in bed,
if he wants you to proclaim His work in the street,
if he wants you to clean the toilets all day,
that's all right, everything is all right.
We must say, "I belong to you. You can do whatever you like."
And this ..is our strength,
and this is the joy of the Lord. -- Mother Teresa

As I think about this and reflect on what it means to me
it's like God shaking me and forcing me to see how
he really works in people's lives.

What's surreal is that many people (including myself)
can go almost a whole day without God crossing their minds.
Meanwhile, God so loving and merciful holds me into existence- THAT WHOLE DAY!

All of us have a variety of things we do each day, whether it
be serving a child, serving others, cleaning, cooking,
folding laundry, scrubbing, filing , answering phones, studying...the list goes on
but in reality what we are doing is what God has called us to
in that moment. If we are listening and asking God what we should be doing
and then we end up filing all day , or cleaning up after a 2 year old
then Glory to God. Yes, yes this all sounds nice and dandy
but it's hard. It's hard to deal with a disgruntled person or
a dirty toilet and see your vocation but it's with your spirit that
you are giving God His glory. And through that spirit in turn
physically helps you get through your daily tasks.

So what's the point? The point is God will fill you with Joy
and Peace and when you DO think about him in your daily routine
it is then you can choose to use your work to GLORIFY.
and then everything is all right.


Precious Jesus,
With your blistered hands you worked
with Joseph under the hot sun, and yet,
you are the Savior of the World...
Help me know you are in my work
and let me give it back to you.
Amen

Let the waters rise

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees...
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow You

(mike's chair, let the waters rise)

I know this is a occurring theme I've been thinking
about in my blog lately but I guess it's just really powerful
and something we all really need to know
not just think about every once and a while,
we need to know that God is with us
during the pain and sometimes
it's His providence that we go through what we do.

Thinking about intense pain, it reminds me of losing my father.
The pain that a child experiences is profound but I think
my daddy is interceding for me in heaven to bring me to
where I am right now. Who knows where I would be if he was still alive.
And while I'm not saying that he had to die in order for me to be faithful...
I am saying that he died, when he did, for a reason. My daddy had a beautiful devotion to the blessed mother
and his bible and it's funny because I think I have a foundation
that is pretty strong in my faith but the two weak area's are
reading the bible and truly forming a relationship with Our Lady.
Maybe it's because I needed that foundation before I could really
develop these things. But I encourage you to reflect on your pain,
and I know it may be hard and it may bring back some harsh memories
but find God in it, because he worked in that pain.

Almighty, show me the beauty of your Word, and the
journey your Mother took to becoming the bearer of
the Living God. Help me to look to her when I don't
know why...help me proclaim Fiat when I don't know all the answers. Amen

It's all about Will

"So many times I went to you God but I was never really willing to change"

This is me paraphrasing something I heard recently and it struck me.
I think mainly because it hits the nail on the head for most of us
in our spiritual journey with God.

I think about my daily life and what I do for God
and it's hard for me to think, YES,yes i am willing to change!
because in many ways I'm not. I do trust God, I trusted him
with this move and that Stewart would get into medical school
and that everything would be okay and it has been. But
I'm talking about a deep change, a change that is radical, that
would move your world.

I know that Stewart and I talk about moving to Ecuador and living
their for a little while with our children when he is a doctor
but I like to talk to him about it every once and a while
- To make it real.
I don't want this dream of ours to fade away
and let "the American dream" get in the way
of God's plan for Stewart and our family.

I want to be willing to change on a dime,
the second God places a plan in my life.
Of course, practically I may not be able
to drop everything in a second
but I would be able to eventually
and that's what I always want to hold close to my heart,
the passion for His will in my life

The passion to surrender.


Dear Jesus,
let Your dreams for me
become my passions. Amen